I love the wordplay in this poem.....and really like winter's shadowed stubbled jaw. Cool.
Great sounds in this one, and I like the look of it, too. Very fresh and original. Wow!
I too like winter's stubble jaw. Very nice.
Yes to what they say, above – but, did I understand it correctly? You slipped on the wet floor and hurt your hip? Hope you are OK.
No Rosemary, this is not at all what happened. But thank you anyhow, for thinking of me and wishing me well. This being said, it could very easily be understood in this fashion, too - the possibilities are open for reader interpretation.
There's a delightful danger in this, an accidental surprise with all the extras flooding into or out of the periphery -- something beyond language and between rapture and terror. Slick and sliding without purchase.
thanks Brendan - you've picked up on the essence - the something beyond language ... which is cool, considering the "brief" of this endeavour
Oh yes... love this the winter is exactly like that... a stubble jaw... all shadow... may he get a shave.
ROFLMAO - Amen to that!
Color me dense because I've read this umpteen times, both last night and this morning, and i just don't know what it's saying. Every time i read it, I want to say it's about a lost love, or a love that simply burned itself out and went cold, but then I get to the repeated part about the floor and I can't reconcile that; I'm not getting the floor part at all, and that would seem to be central to the piece. Palimpsest indeed, because i can't turn the lamp just the right way to see what's going on clearly.
just as long as I can colour outside the lines ... actually, the "dense" is not of your own [de]fault - this was a word play exercise - as in, you're right, it's about lost love, or love that burnt cold, yet it's also a skinning of weather, and then, the floor? it just falls into a place ... where it adds another unwritten dimension - because it only is a "fleshing out" - the prompt called for a "take a moment" - as in stop. breathe in-out - ground yourself. a zen thing. and then, write - about "the moment" when supposedly you've cleared yourself in this mini-burst "meditative calm state" - which unless you're a hot yoga guru and totally into this type of activity and are adept at it? so I just pulled some fragments - and chose to present them as such - there is a link between all - connections - it's just an unfleshed, unwritten taste ... because I didn't feel the need to present it as anything more than an impression - it doesn't need to be a full-frontal conscious story - hence, the indexed card ... besides, transience is just that - a moment that is now, different than 2 seconds ago .... so don't bust your brain for nothing ....
I too can't quite grasp the direction to take with this... I agree with Shay - I thought you has fallen too but glad to see you didn't. Obviously a metaphor I'm not grasping (sorry)
thanks for your thoughts Margaret - but no need to apologize - it simple is a "transient moment" - my decision to not fully flesh this out simply "because" .... so however you interpret it, is fine .... not everything needs or will always have an answer ...
Love "winter's stubble jaw", and the excellent wordplay in this!
thanks for sharing your thoughts, it's appreciated