I take back what you have stolen and in your languages I announce I am now nameless.
My true name is a growl.
Margaret Atwood

6 April 2018

standing on ceremony















sister, 

a thousand needles prick my skin
crushed cherry blossoms for the scent
of my blood infusion
as wild as drunk bees dancing electrical
impulse in the open field of montes veneris
but a buck crops the wildflowers so sweet
for the tongue of secret wanting
more than a stolen moment of fingers brushing
on ceremony
black tea cupped brimming eyes -
I would slip a ring around your mouth
painting a red collar
- unbuckle you
let your screams rip the sun from the moon's lembeus
*
after: Imaginary Garden with Real Toads: April Six : Speaking in the Voice of Another

image: public domain | photo by Matheus Bertelli


13 comments:

  1. Wonderful words, strong and meaty. I especially like:" I would slip a ring around your mouth
    painting a red collar
    - unbuckle you"

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  2. Wow! I love "wild as drunk bees" and the black tea cupped brimming eyes. If only words could unbuckle her and free those screams, this poem surely would.

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  3. Wow, some magic is afoot here. I love "black tea cupped brimming eyes" and the red collar....unbuckle you!

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  4. Anyone who knows what a palimpsest is, can be my friend any time.

    This is a feast, and I'm not sure I have understood all of it, but it's clearly about a tattoo, and some kind of alteration of same. I've never heard a deer's eyes (or a doe's) described better than "black tea cupped brimming eyes." I'll never sip my China black again without recalling that.

    I'm probably projecting my own stuff onto your writing here, but given that the sun is traditionally male and the moon female, I'm thinking the speaker feels more than sisterly but that pesky buck keeps long-necking it to the moon's edge and having all the reward. I can hear the speaker's "hmmf!" from here, or so I fancy.

    Screams can be good or bad. I'm reading these as good screams. If they're not, I've missed the gist entirely and should be made to read haiku.

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    1. You - made to read haiku?
      I would never inflict such on you
      No, if anything, I would beat you with a string of Hungarian sausages and paprika roasted potatoes and make you write it 👅

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    2. I don't know that you're projecting, Fireblossom, or not only that. I happen to be straight and got the same interpretatrion.

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  5. "a thousand needles prick my skin"

    Luv that you introduced the OUCH!! early in the poem

    much love...

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  6. An amazing poem with various levels, rich feeling, and the yummiest language.

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  7. this really flows from the off in a seeming stream of consciousness that is actually very very conscious...wonderful stuff.

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  8. Such a uniquely multi-faceted poem. My favourite of the day. You achieved what I could only attempt in the interweaving of emotion and surroundings. Really fine work.

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    Replies
    1. it was a very layered prompt starting point, hard to marry a quieter narrative voice (which I just rarely can do) ~ so I ended walking more of a modern voice/aspect, while trying to weave in some of the mystery, the sense of secrets, codes, time, displacement - and transcribe that in some way that suspends an actual era.

      I think, as I hope I was able to express for your piece, that you were able to capture the essences of all of it, the codes, the near-silent exchanges etc., sense of place and time/era really well - with an tremendous sense of elegance, poise and "restraint" appropriate for your approach to the prompt. So I think you've succeeded far more than you realize on a conscious level.

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    2. Your poem has captured sensation, I think, in a most remarkable way. That really stands out for me, and the way you brought in the buck on the periphery of the field. It is very intense by the time one gets to the unleashing and scream at the end.

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    3. thanks Kerry!

      I write more from an impressionistic aiming for "essences of" aspect, except when writing flash fiction or short stories etc. I don't often (as of yet) marry "concrete story" with poetic language in my self-estimations.

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thanks for sharing your thoughts, I greatly appreciate it.