17 April 2018

untitled (dance bird, dance)




you pulled
on tomorrow
like a red dress slipping
over your skin for the protection
believing it would bust you out of a 
dream-tired corner of nickels and dimes
as scored by Stravinsky
firebird flying
you pulled



©P.A.Kynda Palazy
all rights reserved


normally the Tuesday Platform is open, but today Kerry offered us some NaPoWriMo inspiration in case we needed it ~ and I've always held great affection for Kandinsky, so it was a great pleasure to see this as a prompt. 

I initially wrote a short piece, and decided to see if it might fit in a new-to-me poetic form: the Rictameter. 
The Rictameter is a nine line poem, similar in scheme to the Cinquain.
You start the first line with a two syllable word, then consecutively increase the number of syllables per line by two, .i.e. 2/4/6/8/10 (10 is the pivot line, so to speak) - then work back down, 8/6/4/2. The final line is the same as the first line. 

Strictly speaking, my first line doesn't "conform" - but it's close enough for jazz. 

And thanks to Fireblossom for her playing with the form not too long ago. She wrote something amazing in this form. 


8 comments:

  1. you pulled
    on tomorrow
    like a red dress slipping
    over your skin

    GASP. Just adore that!

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  2. Can't blame a girl for trying. They say that when you wear red, you expect something to happen; she's living for tomorrow, but giving it a little goose. Firebird don't know her own power. Or so I read.

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  3. Absolutely magnificent!!!!

    much love...

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  4. Oh, I love this! Especially "dream-tired corner of nickels and dimes". The form really works, too.

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  5. you pulled on tomorrow like a red dress slipping over your skin ...Wow

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  6. I am now a subscriber...dazzled and dizzy and waiting for more...

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  7. I like the way the lines build to a crescendo in the middle and then ease off again. Also that the full poem is one complete thought. It is dazzling, as Tim mentions.

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  8. Thanks for reminding me of the Rictameter, which you use beautifully. And yes, that painting is very firebird/Stravinsky

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thanks for sharing your thoughts, it's appreciated