19 April 2018

untitled (jaw me down the river, drown me in the water)

I bite the crooked hook of your smile
mouthing for the blue jaw cutting a raw edge
scrape my skin, ripping my knees, my jeans
for the tussling cascade, of black waves flowing down
the back, ending in the featured knot
tied by your hands
sensual bastard, oil me slick with your slow
low baritone smoke of
an omen, boiling in my blood
as the wistful crocus pebbling this shore
slits her wrists for her lost purity


©P.A.Kynda Palazy
all rights reserved


Sanna offers us a poem by Edna St. Vincent Millay for inspiration and notes how the poet's choice of words and phrases is profound in the execution. My interpretation: deliberate choice. Sanna then asks us to create our own brief word bursts (no more than 100 words) and to pick from a choice of 4 word groups. I unconsciously used 2 groups, so why not? 

omen, wistful, crocus, edge  + sensual, features, blue, mouth  ~ my word count: 77

















15 comments:

  1. "Slow low baritone smoke of an omen". Damn that's good.

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  2. Wowzers! You've said a mouthful. An impressive write!

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  3. Powerful, gritty, and sensual, What more could a reader ask? :-)

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  4. certainly la petite morte is good for the soul, hooked by a crook ~

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  5. This is so dark with the slicing of the wrists and the baritone voice... I love what you did, though I really feel sad that poems like this needs to be written.

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    1. truth in sadness is a gift, albeit one most don't wish as a skin

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  6. crooked hook of your smile & the omen line are outstanding. Loved the whole poem.

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  7. so much is weaved into these words, I agree with LC powerful,gritty and sensual with some raw emotion stirred into the mix...

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  8. Wow, what an opening line. This is a descent into a personal hell, wood smoke baritone your tour guide. A bus where the seats have sharp edges and the destination is some kind of hospital of the heart. Scathing.

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    1. thank you kindly, oh woman of the fiery blossoms

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  9. Love this especially; "oil me slick with your slow low baritone smoke of an omen."

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  10. I am so impressed with this creation - you never seem to tire in this month of madness. The word pairings are unique, and more than that, I love the way things sound in your poetry. You infuse simple nouns with nuance and abstract meaning, seemingly effortlessly. This is one of my favourites, possibly for the lines:
    sensual bastard, oil me slick with your slow
    low baritone smoke of
    an omen...

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    1. thanks Kerry

      you know, "no rest for the wicked" - the way of words pave the road to hell ...
      actually, I'm beyond exhausted, but still I will forge ahead, a-foot-weary perhaps, but for the keeping on ...

      thanks, I don't often feel the pairings are so resplendent, (well, not the correct choice of words) but I'm about nuance really .... so thank you, your comment is really very much appreciated

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  11. Wow! While reading, I am that girl....

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    1. well, then, I'm glad for the experience - and hope it is more blessing than curse
      ~ thanks for stopping in Rosemary

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thanks for sharing your thoughts, it's appreciated