I take back what you have stolen and in your languages I announce I am now nameless.
My true name is a growl.
Margaret Atwood

24 May 2018

untitled (contrapuntal melodies ~ 1+1 = 3 : of self, Holy Trinity)

1+1=3: of self, Holy Trinity

I, fevered ocean                                                   heroine wearing a black umbrella
crowning for desire                                            drowning in seagull shelled feathers
of delicious man, his lip of night                    scented a dark liquid perfume
under my eyes, silver scored                           white lines mouth-pinched in truth
cocaine smoked steel sky, I want for             brewing a blue-black veined itch
a god to heal my naked wake                         prisoner I am, for a hard growl marble
in his moist wild laugh                                      iced eye under the skin
black angel                                                           white angel
of death                                                                 none will remember


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the melodious Paul @ d'Verse Poets Pub hosts an interesting challenge: Contrapuntal Poetry

in essence: "Contrapuntal music is composed of multiple melodies that are relatively independent that are sounded together. In the poetic world, contrapuntal poems are poems that intertwine two (or more) separate poems into a single composition."

*
I've taken my most recent poems Black-White Angels and cooling my sex and worked them into this. 

Read the poem on the left, independently. Repeat for the poem on the right. Then read the lines straight across, as if there is no gap between the two. 
1+1 = 3

24 comments:

  1. Wow, this is so ambitious, and you've pulled it off beautifully. Brava! I can't imagine how you made every line work perfectly no matter which way it is read; taken as a whole, it never misses a beat, and never loses its power.

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    1. thanks so much m'dear.... a bit of word witchery-stitchery and we have something new(t) brewing in the vat 😋

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  2. ps--your tigah opened her eyes! She is still tipped over, though, lazy thing. :-)

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    1. LOL - yeah, she's awake but just waiting ... witnessing, dozzzzing too. I think we're sistahs 😫

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  3. So good, the words you employed are like Pop Rocks candy... they just explode in my mouth as I read them.

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  4. I liked the white and black angels at the end.

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  5. I had to read your poem several times, Pat, there is so much to take in! Like Debi, I really enjoyed the feel of the words in my mouth, especially 'I want for
    a god to heal my naked wake' - the assonance of 'naked wake' conveys the sound of an open mouth crying out in pain.
    I also love the pictures you paint of the 'heroine wearing a black umbrella... drowning in seagull shelled feathers', and the juxtaposition of the black and white angels.

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    1. thanks so much Kim for your close reading ~ glad that you found the layers and I'm chuckling, because I hadn't actually given "sound" too much thought in this, although it is part of the challenge... good to be reminded!

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  6. Oh this is so good... i can read it back and forth several times, perfect formatting and each of the three perfect poem. Especially love the black, white angel of death in the end...

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  7. Simply stunning. So much to admire here in this duet of poems that become a song of themselves that somehow suggests they were always meant to be one.

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  8. So much amazing imagery here:
    cocaine smoked steel sky
    heroine wearing a black umbrella
    drowning in seagull shelled feathers
    blue-black veined itch
    and the black angel white angel of death
    You have an amazing way with words!

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  9. There is a devious mood to this, especially because no one will remember. The lines were all so rich with irresistible trouble but I particularly liked, "brewing a blue-black veined itch."

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  10. This is quite powerful and vivid. You captured the oblivion brought on by these 2 drugs.....in 3 ways!

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  11. Great lines, willow! So much to chew from!

    Hank

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  12. Wow, what a prowerful ending!!! "Non will remember." Good job.

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thanks for sharing your thoughts, I greatly appreciate it.